Yeah so i remember now.
When i was driving back home from worcester, I was trying to remember why i had so much motivation before. I’ve finally figured it out.
When I die, I want to know that I left the world a bit better than it was before. Not for glory, but for future generations. I don’t want people to still fear cancer, although we’re pretty damn close now a days, and fear other things like terrorism. If we spent a little more time understanding each other then the world would be much better…and yeah minus the insane people too.
Anyways, people always wonder what my motivation is and this was what it was before I focused more on me. Honestly I need to think like this again so I can study harder and be a better role model. I don’t want to be doing the same shit over and over again and feeling like im stuck.
That brings me to another point. Some people will love themselves and be content with their lives. However, people like me will always wake up thinking about how to improve ourselves and will never be satisfied. This is typical human behavior. Having stuff that you can’t have.
Relationships…hmm i dont know where to begin. They’re just complicated in general and I don’t understand how some people can deal with them. I mean i would love to be in a relationship to boost seratoinin and dopamine levels (nerd joke). But people like me get carried away with it…I get too attached easily and knowing me i would just end up putting up with everything. Thats why if i really want a girl i want to make sure shits okay. I dont want to just settle for any girl…altho i do find myself getting infatuated with girls that like me and that i dont like back… haha
Going to finish up my hw then xanga some more!