First things first

RIP Lauren Chang

Im going to elaborate everything soon especially about
-new outlook on my life
-motivation
-goals for the summer
-memories with lauren

BUT I HAVE FINALS MEANWHILE so wish me luck!

[edit]
RIP Lauren

So last sunday was Lauren’s wake…I saw a lot of people all there for the same reason.  I was talking with John Tieu and it’s really sad that a death brings us together.  The Newton people havent been together in how long…but when Lauren died, we were all united.  I think its important to emphasize the happy memories with Lauren…not mope around that Lauren is gone.  We should appretiate her legacy and like I said to Anthony, all her hard work wasn’t for nothing; look at how many people she touched…her impact on her friends and cheerleading community.  If anything this sparked more motivation in people, maybe saving their lives before it’s too late.  Don’t get me wrong…I miss Lauren but honestly theres nothing you can do about it.  Maybe be I’m just cold or older now, but I kinda understand that these things happen and sometimes you just have to move on.   But  always remember their legacy.  I might be fucked up…but midway through the wake i started laughing about all the stupid memories we had and how lauren would probably hate her ceremony.  I always remember going to prom (not with you) but having a lot of fun.  Haha i remember seeing you in my freshman summer school class and at gath pool but i was too shy to say hi to you.  Your smile and laughter lighting up the whole room.  You baking stuff.  That ugly hat you and the other cheerleaders bought me that said Yeelo.  That time you called me up just to talk about your relationship problems with Ant.  No we weren’t super close…but close enough that you made an impact on me and when ever we talked/saw each other i felt completely open to you.   Lauren…it is a privledge for me to have known you and I will always treasure our friendship…

Rest In Peace Lauren Chang

Motivation and Outlook from this point

So things haven’t been going that well for me.  Lots of work, losing Lauren, not seeing my friends, not getting into parties, etc…  But honestly its only a small part of my life.  I’ve recently been reading a lot of books on leadership and successful people.  I want to leave the world knowing i left a legacy that affected people; I want to help and change people’s lives.  Knowledge and money is power.  I’m learning everything right now from investing to leadership to weight training to nutrition to martial arts to biochemistry to drugs etc…This summer i want to do a few things:

Certificates
-take the CSCS (Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist)
-take the PCATs (Pharmacy College Admission Test)
-take the National Pharmacy Technitian Exam

Everyday stuff (Chores)
-Touch up my car (paint the bumpers)
-Clean my car (Lotta dirt and random shit in the trunk)
-Keep the house clean and clean the house
-Car wash
-work

Everyday stuff (Study Stuff)
-Study for those exams (FUCK)
-Take notes on studyhacks.com and understand the theory
-Read all the books on being successful

Everyday stuff (Fun Stuff)

-See all my friends/family at least once
-Go to New York
-Take my baby cousins out to cabots for ice cream =]
-More GPP work/ Diet and train with redpointfitness
-cwalking/dancing mix in random places and put it on youtube
-dance practices and maybe do another show!
-kick ass at kung fu

Hmm my insecurities…a few things I’m insecure about are my looks and a girlfriend situtation.  I’m insecure about my looks because i was always the fat kid when i was younger.  When people call me fat or ugly it really bothers me A LOT.  Girlfriend/relationships is numero dos.  I dont know if i’ll be able to find a girlfriend later and my biggest fear is being single for the rest of my life.  I know its kinda far but that kinda how i think…i think about everything ahead of time.  Reason why im writing these down is because i think its time to face my insecurities.  I can never ever do anything about my looks.  I go to the gym and I’m active.  I know I can eat stricter and I AM going to change that now.  About relationships…well if i dont love myself, how can i love someone else?  I think i need to focus on me…knowing what i want and pursuing my passions in life.  In the end, as long as im happy thats all that matters anyways and I dont need a relationship.  Hopefully ill gain even more confidence about what i do and all my strengths will out weigh my weaknesses…Everyone has insecurities…its just how you deal with them

After all if you come off too desperate no one wants you =] 

Some sites you should definately check out!
www.calnewport.com/blog/
Study Hacks is an acedemic/studying blog…REALLY interesting and everyone should get a read…writer is from MIT

yellowj.wordpress.com/about-jasonshen/
Jason Shen’s old blog… I know him personally and hes a genius.  Just going through his entries motivates me more each day. Even though he doesnt update this one, theres a lot of useful information here. No homo? LOL

www.jasonshen.com
Jason Shen’s new blog.

www.redpointfitness.com
New revolutionary site on training and nutrition.  If you want to be a healthy and sexy person definately sign up. They just started up like 3 days ago and is run by my personal trainer Wesley Silvera

www.ironaddicts.com
My favorite diet/training forum run by Wes
Better than bodybuilding.com and uses science over hype.  You’re lucky if you get to train with him. Really opened up my eyes!

Anyways thats all I have to say for now…I’m really sleepy so time to bounce and I hope i got everything out…if not ill just edit some more!