Heartless

Ever since I started playing Fallout 3 and took piracetam to enhance mental cognition and memory, I’ve definitely become a lot more heartless.  However, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing either because never have I been more focused and motivated for many aspects in my life.  People say I’ve matured and became more realistic.  One person even said I should of been a business major (wtf haha).  Regardless I still  have a long way to go until I consider myself independent and mature. I know from the past I was a pretty emotional person and this supplement has definitely helped to control it.

For the heartless part, it does have its drawbacks.  For example if someone is explaining and repeating their problem to me several times, I always question the steps taken to resolve the solution.  Its not like I don’t understand the problem (after all I was an emotional person), but my mindset to just deal and take steps to fix whatever is wrong makes me come off as heartless.  I know deep down inside I do have emotions, but I’ve always been reluctant or had problems explaining them at times.  I guess in this aspect I am pretty introverted.  To add to my heartlessness (is that a word?), I felt I left my heart back in Hong Kong and until I come back I’ll always be heartless. 

I’m guessing leaving Hong Kong really is messing me up and has me feeling sloppy.  While I know I’m definitely not showing my sadness, its becoming apparent in my daily life (no motivation to do certain things that I loved doing before).  This includes my gyming progress, Simple Supplements, pharmacy school applications, dance, kung fu, UMass internship, CVS, and anything else I’m participating in.  Lately I have also been noticing my lack of wanting to go out and be social.  Its kinda weird to be honest, especially when I’ve had crazy ideas for entrepreneurship that I hope to bring to society.  I know one thing though; it’s not that I need a break because I’ve taken almost a month off everything.   

Solutions
-make a checklist for gym progress (water intake, prepare food for the day before, flexibility/rehab work, cardio (BIG PROBLEM) etc..)
-start attending kung fu classes more because I know I won’t practice at home by myself
-invest more time into improving myself (setting a budget of 50 bucks a month to learn more/self knowledge)
-further optimizing my school studying habits so I can spend more time on the things I love
-drop crap I don’t care about anymore (school clubs, especially CSA, KSA, VSA)
-devote more time to my loved ones, friends, and family
-start more freelancing more and create more innovative ideas that include my interests
-cleaning and changing my house environment (trips to ikea and paying someone else to clean the house initially for me)
-start making videos of dance practices to upload to youtube
-find someone to actually that is committed to similar goals I have and doing things with them (not talking about a relationship lol)

I just realized while writing this I really thing I am doing too much and maybe thats why its leading to my deep procrastination and lack of empathy.

Anyways random pics of HK…


Bungeee (one our hamsters’ baby) eating a peanut


Zarina and I with the fobby kissy cheek.  Bleh I gained so much weight in HK -_-


Raymond, Jenny, Zarina, Me… LOL whats with holding up the ramen?

      
Zarina is so pretty =D

Oh and one more video!

Video of Raymond skating after his tragic accident, Jenny walking, and Zarina in the background

Time to sleep now!

Advertisements

Been awhile since I made an entry…

Bleh I can never be consistent with my update these days.

I never thought I would make such great friends at WPI.  What’s ironic is that I spend more time in Worcester than when I actually lived there.  To be honest, I love commuting to Worcester because it allows me enough time to think and relax.  This term kinda sucks though because half the people are either in Hong Kong or graduated. 

Speaking of Hong Kong, I went back for 2 weeks and had an amazing time.  I spent most of my time with Zarina and don’t regret any of it.  Since I did all the touristy stuff before, I spent most of my time walking around, meeting up with friends, and eating awesome food.  Bleh I ate all sorts of shit and felt so sloppy.  On the airplane ride back I probably ate 6 packs of ramen -_-

Anyways I thought I could write a long entry this time but I’m kinda tired so yea….