Wendy Tse is the awesomest girl i know!
Somewhere along the road I lost touch with my feelings. I just feel emotionless. But on the other hand, I’d rather feel this way than feel hurt all the time. I’m living one day at a time just not worrying about anything and accepting things for what they are. There’s no point of complaining about commitments (eg. school/work). Either way I have to do it right?
At the same time, I’m more introverted than ever before. People always go through phases, but the motivation to call or keep in contact with people isn’t there. It’s not like I don’t want to, but I feel like there’s too little time. Things are going on in my life like P2 year. That “say goodbye to your friends and family and breakup with your girlfriend” is true. It’s that point in my life where I’m really trying to “find” myself as cliche as that sounds.
Seriously what makes me happy NOW? What do I want to do NOW? What goals do I have and what I can do NOW? Main point is I’m trying to take initiative in my life. I’m probably close to having (20-30%) of my life done and a year from now, I’m just going to be a year older.
I’m starting to have doubts about pharmacy school. It’s not the work or classes, am I going to be happy with this profession? Within the retail setting, I feel like I’m running out of patience dealing with customer service and corporate stuff. It doesn’t stimulate my mind anymore and dealing with the same problems daily. That’s what I realize thats what makes me happy… Knowing that I’m helping someone that actually appreciates my work and challenging myself with new problems everyday. It’s not about the pay or the PharmD title anymore for me.
The last thing that’s been on my mind is relationships and how I’m turned off by them. Maybe it’s my past of being burned and maybe its the fear of committing myself emotionally again. Either way, it’s more important to give back to myself anyways because when it comes down to it, I’m stuck with myself no matter what.
Anyways I’ll end with this.