I’m feeling down

Something is off.

I’m constantly thinking about my family and friends back home. I miss them.

I’m at this pharmacy. I don’t want to even be here… yet there’s so many people that would kill for this opportunity.

I’m not having fun anymore. Spontaneous adventures seem gone.

I’m starting to have doubts. Doubts about my resiliency. Doubts about whether I’ll make it out of this pharmacy grind.

Normally I would be like… “This isn’t healthy. Try to think more positive”.

The truth is it’s fine to feel this way. There’s nothing wrong with it. I know I’ll snap out of it within a few days. But still it’s just a constant reminder of how I’m human too.

I’m going to play some more Chris Brown and Drake -_-

The mental brain fog

Man its been awhile since I’ve actually done a personal blog. I revived my old xanga and now it’s living on here.

Today I’m going through a huge brain fog. My mind is just lagging… I can’t think.

This had been the first time in a long while. I’ve been doing tulsi, mediation, being more active… nothing is really helping today.

I have so much to do today. I could just be duh “Asian parent” on myself… but I’ve been trying to be more patient, understanding, and respectful to myself.

I understand that it’s fine to feel this way. At the end of the day, I’m just pushing myself because I want to do great things. But at the end of the day there is no rush.

Going to try to meditate again… wish me luck -_-