Sipping on the koolaid

So right now I’m in Vegas at this Choice Program.

No lie I thought I was joining a cult with some loser ass people there, but it’s been a pretty cool experience so far. A lot of the other people feel the same way too, which made me feel a lot better.

One of the first questions that I got asked was why did I want to be here? That was a good fucking question.

Somewhere along the way I told myself that I wanted to have a better relationship with myself and other people. Especially growing up in an Asian community, we’re always competing trying to kill each other. In the process, we develop the mentality that we’re never good enough and to never make mistakes

In someways it’s humbling to experience and it’s gotten me this far in life. It got me that PharmD that I always wanted and the six figure paycheck. Make it rain money!

But also in order to grow, I need to grow beyond what I know. I don’t trust myself when it comes to picking up girls or going up to random people… despite being an extreme extrovert. I don’t trust myself to eat what I kill in the business world because I still haven’t pumped out my product yet.

What’s stopping me?

Is it my relationship with my dad and feeling that I’m never again? Is it that I’m terrified of being alone at the top? Is it that I’m scared to be willing to risk all this work for nothing?

Anyways gotta sleep soon. Day 2 is ahead of us.

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