The beginning of the morning pages

Oh man. So recently I was reading this book the Artist’s Way. It suggested to do the morning pages every morning. I was like WTF… writing 3 pages AKA 750 words everyday about what I’m thinking and what I think I need?

This is a fucking waste of time.

But sometimes it’s exactly these moments in our lives where we need to do what we resist.

How many times have I felt like I had nothing left in me to write? How many times have I felt like I’m drained? How is this business sustainable if I can’t create every single day?

Simply it’s not.

I think a lot of the time this is a reflection of my own life. There’s so many times where I want the shortcut. I mean hacks and shortcuts are sexy. Who doesn’t want to avoid hard work when you don’t need to?

Maybe that’s why I look up to people like Tim Ferris who are “ultra-productivity” gurus. They seem to have all the answers and accomplish the world with relatively little effort.

But in reality nothing can really replace hard work.

In powerlifting there are no hacks for steadily improving your squat, bench, and deadlift at an elite level. In jiujitsu, there are no hacks for getting your black belt. In business, there are no hacks for creating the next JK films, Uber, and Amazon. In gang life, you need to put in work to move up the ranks.

The only hack for greatness is putting in the time. With time and experience that’s where the true learning comes. Of course, there’s always ways to shortcut the process and instant, but when you look at the long term game, you simply can’t shortcut greatness.

It’s through experience where you learn to suffer and realize there must be a better way to do things.

And that’s where I come in. The morning pages are going to be therapy for me and a way I can put in my reps for writing and creativity. It will be a great way to “refill the pond” and avoid against burnout for myself.

Most importantly it’ll be a good way for me to commit to myself. How many times have I made promises to myself and not fulfill them? It’s the reason why I don’t have a six pack. It’s the reason why I’m still stuck in pharmacy. It’s the reason why Refugee Hustle hasn’t grown.

For myself, I realize I have a natural ability to connect to others. I’ve always known this. Maybe it was all the pain in my life. Maybe it was always feeling lonely for most of my life. Either way I know for myself, I can connect with people and bring out the super power in others.

…and I need to do that with myself. I know on this journey of entrepreneurship I’ll need a lot more than just natural ability. Imagine how lucky I am. To love what I do and have it be my natural gift.

But just because something is your natural gift doesn’t mean that you don’t have to put in the hard work. If anything you need to put in more work.

Why? I need to consistently humble myself and not my ego get in the way. Imagine the top people at any skill set. Most of these people have the natural gift + hard workhunger.

These are the key things that bring you to greatness.

As I’m writing this, there’s a voice that is telling me that I need support as well. Why is this? Because honestly through all these years of not following through with my promises and having my dad doubting me for so many years, I lose trust with myself.

It’s the reason why I’m so scared of commitment as well. I avoid it like the plague and seek acceptance like thirsty sylvia.

And because of my seeking acceptance all the time, it can lead me down the wrong path. The path of fake relationships. Maybe fake isn’t the word. Maybe it’s inauthentic relationships.

It’s one of the reasons why I could never keep a relationship longer than a year. It’s one of the reasons why my “dating” life with Nelyn was a shit show. It’s one of the reasons why my friendship with Cindy had a huge falling out. Why?

It was working out of desperation that led me to make poor choices and choices that went against my gut feeling.

So what will I need instead? Support for myself. Believing that I can do everything. Even as I’m starting new with affiliate marketing, I constantly tell myself that I need “help” and “coaching”. But is that what I really need?

That constant self doubt and judgement of my standards of perfection that is preventing me from growth.

And it’s pretty crazy right now too as I’m doing today’s morning pages. I’m just letting my brain ramble on and on. But I realize that within a short amount of time I can bust out a blog post and article.

But time to get back on track. What else will I need on this journey?

Organization. I am so disorganized. I mean look at my desktop LOL. I should definitely allocate some time to clean up my life.

How many times in my life has my lack of organization costed me in relationships or experiences that I want in my life?

It’s the reason why I spent so long trying to get a freaking vacation. I feel like I sense strong resistance to it. Maybe because organization = commitment… something I fear. Again why I probably need the morning pages.

Pretty crazy I’m at 944 words. Okay definitely time to get on with my day.

Kill it Kevin.

 

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