I found my purpose in life

Today will be the best day ever.

Man. It feels so good to back here and just typing my thoughts again. After not doing morning pages for ages, I can already feel the creativity flowing out of me.

So much has happened this week. And I finally can say I finally for once appreciate and love myself. “Love” is kinda hippie word. What does it really mean?

For me it means to learn how to be a man again. It was crazy the other day, I was working out at Barbell Brigade and I want to do 3 thing in life.

Protect. Connect. Rewrite people’s stories.

And that’s what it comes down to.

When I protect I want to protect feminitity and give people a safe space to be themselves. Especially for those people that can’t protect themselves. It’s about standing up for what is right.

And it’s that intrinsic feeling you get. I keep on remembering my journey trying to find my purpose and all the women greeting me at the door. It was the most empowering… most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. I felt appreciated and like a man. We need to have purpose in life.

Second thing is connect. So I want to connect heart to heart with people. I’ve always had a special gift of connection. When I connect, I feel fulfilled and they feel like people actually care. Love and connection can do amazing things and can heal a lot of pain. No one wants to feel alone in the world. And truly no one is. But I have to help out reach and care about people.

Third. Rewriting stories. This goes with personal development and “bettering” yourself everyday. This goes with my own stories and other people’s as well. Sometimes it might be aquiring more knowledge. Other times it might be breaking through a childhood fear or belief that has always held us back.

This weekend I broke though that. When I was at the club, I was in my essence. I had connection with my group. I turned fear into fun. I rewrote my story that I’m not “attractive”. But clearly I am. Especially when women approach me. It’s amazing thing. And I found purpose too. It wasn’t to hookup. It was to help my brothers and sisters rewrite that stories.

I think about the most rewarding parts of my experience this weekend and in life. I fill myself up with YouTube and it hits all those things. Refugee Hustle does it too. Going to the gym helps it as well.

And maybe that’s why I feel so unfulfilled at my pharmacy. It doesn’t fill my needs. My need to protect, connect, and rewrite stories.

Very interesting.

My personal life is so rewarding to be honest. Extremely rewarding. This weekend I’m going to be spending time with Crystal. Someone who is deeply hurt.

And I love this girl. Yes she’s attractive and I would love to smash LOL. But love goes so much deeper than just wanting to fuck. I just love her personality. She’s sweet and reminds me of myself a lot of the time.

Oh and my dating life. When Nelyn was asking what are we, I’m proud that I made a decision. There’s a piece of me that doesn’t want to lose her. But another side that is scared that the old snapchat pregnancy girl might come out again.

There’s no guarantees in life. She’s always there and supportive. And unconditional love is so rare. So why am I running away from it?

I’m glad that I was a strong “no” if I had to make a decision right there. But I’m also glad I said “yes” to exploration. In the past, I would have told myself “I’m so indecisive”. But I need boundaries in my life. What am I saying yes or no to?

Finally today will be amazing for me.

Because I am not going to be searching what my purpose is anymore. I can finally have intent with what I do. I control what goes on in my life. No one else does.

Today I will grow my business. My YouTube. Refugee Hustle. I will not focus on making a quick buck. I want to do things right and focus on mastery. No.

I am focused on mastery. I protect, connect, and rewrite stories. I am a powerful, compassionate, authentic leader.

There is no more of this… I’ll try, I hope, I will language. This is bullshit. I am all these things. 


Adding buffers to my life

Today will be the best day ever.

Today I am amped. No I didn’t get up early today to workout, but I will respect my physical needs after work. Tomorrow is the first day of my relationships class.

Also today I had so many thoughts and realized the importance of buffer time. Sometimes I particularly jump the gun and throw too much shit on my plate all at once. It’s like a gangbang with all guys and one girl. My work are the penises and the one girl is the output.

You can only do so much.

What I realized today was that I can add so much value by adding review or feedback for people. For example, I congratulated Tam’s first blog and I wanted to give a breakdown for him. Same with Ramit’s course to tell him the things I loved and the things I didn’t care much for.

Let’s brainstorm a second… who are 5 people who are underrated that, but I admire their work?

  1. Remit
  2. Tam Pham
  3. Jocko Willing
  4. Charles Ngo
  5. Malan Darras 

There’s probably more, but that’s all I can think of right now.

I’ve also been feeling a lot of resistance editing my videos or doing more work. I’m always looking for quick wins. I wonder why?

It’s easy to get overwhelmed. Like for example tomorrows relationship class is going to scare the shit out of me. I’m so nervous. But one thing at a time. Rather than focus on getting married and all, I should just focus on how can I get the most out of the class and scrape the meat off the bone.

And that’s the thing I’ve realized.

One opportunity in my life is that I don’t take advantage of every advantage I can get. Think about it. I know really successful people. I have the best programs in the world. But am I just consuming or really using them?

That’s something I’ve been constantly thinking. And noticing. I was in my room the other day  and I was looking through the books. More than half the books I haven’t even read yet. So I think these days I just need to spend sometime consume and devour. And share with my fan and outreach to people.

I think the more I think about all the possibilities the more it makes me excited. There’s nothing like waking up in the morning realizing that you have all the potential in the world. Even better? When you’re actively working toward it.

Honestly I don’t have the best genetics. But I have all the resources at my fingertips. Really what’s stopping me from doing yoga? Or Muay Thai? It’s money. But I have all the resources that have in the world.

The other day I met some really good people. Not everyone was in my field, but I got to finally find a tribe again. And that’s the thing. For so long I was stuck with the entertainment tribe and never expanded it. It was cool to see what other people were doing in that area and to become really good friends, but I never expanded into the business world.

See the thing is I would love to really meet Ramit Sethi, Jocko, Marcelo Garcia, and even Tim Ferris. And through Tam I learned how to really add value to people.

Maybe I should spend time working on my tribe while working on my project.

I think the number one thing I don’t feel anymore is alone. I have a coaching community where I feel supported and where people give a fuck about me. It’s something I didn’t feel months ago.

I’m very lucky to have so many people look up to me and care about me. I was listening to XXXtentacion’s Jocelyn Flores song and it made me realize how lucky I am to get so far in life.

Because 10 years ago, I went to sleep wondering if it even made a difference if I were to die the next day. Would people even give a fuck?

But now there’s people that care about me and watch me on YouTube. Maybe I don’t get the most views. Maybe I’m emotional and what not. But at least I’m real and people feel me for it.

And as I go on this relationship journey, it’s going to be a cool experience. I’m nervous, but it feels good to be actually being proactive with my problems rather than just avoiding. Fuck avoiding. And best of all? I don’t have to do it by myself anymore.

Winning and losing is part of life

Man today.

It was so hard waking up man. Usually it’s pretty easy to wake up at 4:30 AM. How can I make this easier for myself? What sort of barriers was I facing?

Well first thing I can try optimizing my sleep with supplements again. I can take them QHS so I can get deeper and more restful sleep. I can fill up my humidifer so I can relax more. I can wear my sleep mask so I get more restful sleep and not watch YouTube videos before sleeping. Instead I’ll put a podcast on with my tablet rather than my phone. Also sleep cycle app will help me get more restful sleep.

What’s another thing I can do?

Prepare the night before. Have my gym and work clothes RTG. Have my lunch packed in the fridge RTG. Have my planner filled out RTG. Have my coffee RTG. I can prepare for all these sort of things ahead of time so I spend as little time prepping.

Another thing?

Other than sleep and preparing before, another thing I can do is just not accept skipping a day for the gym.

One important thing that I need to say though. Like Jocko Willnik said, he’s always fighting. Some days he wins, other days he loses. No matter what he always gets up the next day.

Losing is part of life and you can’t let that get in the way of your goals and what you want.

Some major wins the other day was getting my Kraken account verified… Yay! I can buy alt coins now. Another thing that really helped me get going was setting up my meeting with Accelerator. I want to go to the Entrepreneur Meetup in OC, but I think LA traffic will be a bitch. But at least I can meet cool people for a bit.

Maybe I can ask my friend like Patrick or Nelyn to meet up with me? That might be a win win so I don’t have to go alone to this event.

Another win is actually setting up my hotel in Vegas. I bit the bullet and just booked my hotel so I wouldn’t need to worry about it. In the future I can be more vocal about where I want to stay… etc. This way I can shoot videos, do my routines, and do everything before Choice starts.

In the past I would just stay up or sleep on the couch, but one of the most important things is just to take care of myself. That is the number one priority I have. And I’m starting to show compassion and self love for myself.

Pharmacy wise I’m kind of sad that I don’t have an intern this block. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I should email USC and see the updated list for my interns. But if I can change the way I dress, my speech patterns, posture, and be more aware of what I’m attributing to others, it’ll make work more fun.

I think in someways choosing to work in the pharmacy is supposed to happen. It’s supposed to make me into a better man. If I can show patience and gratitude in this environment when people are rude, then I can make it anywhere.

No lie, it’s hard to stay neutral. But I need to not get burnt out and cold. So many pharmacists are like that. And what am I? A non-traditional pharmacist LOL.

At the end of the day, is it worth the extra $1-2K in frustration? No. I just have to deal with it and stay neural. Why do I go into work? It’s to collect a paycheck so I can build other assets and create a life that I really want. Remember that.

Sometime it’s hard. I see my friends like Joe or Matt ball out. They put in the hard work, but I’m not them. It’s difficult to not compare yourself to other people. Sometimes you just focus on just one metric like money or business, but what assets do I have that they want?

I have healthy relationships around me. I can communicate on a deeper level than people and make people feel at ease. I’m open minded and willing to try new things in life. Most of all? I’m a lover of people and helping people. Not to say they aren’t but my soft skills is my main competitive advantage.

I need to remember what Eina said. I exude confidence. Anyways time to finish this module and go into work.

Later aligator.

Kevin Yee

Why You Need a “Deloading” Phase in Life

Why You Need a “Deloading” Phase in Life

Kevin here.

Honestly it’s been good I’ve been taking the time to just “netflix and chill”… by myself. I spend so much time talking to people at the pharmacy even when I’m an extrovert.

So it’s good to shut the fuck up sometimes, have no agenda, and just spend sometime just doing normal people shit instead of rushing from project to project.

It’s something that happened to me right around when I caught the flu before Chicago and spent it recovering in Hawaii that changed me.

I was so sick that I couldn’t explore fall in Chicago. Every time I went out I broke out into chills or sweats. My coughing fits were so bad that I coughed out blood. I was fatigued that I didn’t have enough energy to go outside and enjoy the deep dish pizza everyone raved about.

I just spent it looking out of my hotel room.

And it sucked. That moment I realized that I was spending all time… my youth just hustling all the time. It was the point to where I felt like dying and there was no one else to take care of me.

What was the point of hustling if I couldn’t even enjoy what I worked hard for? Why stress out over work? There’s always shit to worry about.

So when I went to Hawaii, I didn’t stress with an itinerary. While my friends were running around trying to do every single hike on Oahu, I just did one, took a nap, and ate some musubi’s and poke bowls.

And it couldn’t of been better.

As someone who lives a pretty crazy lifestyle, it felt good to finally do nothing. Especially when a lot of the population does the complete opposite.

I would spend hours just looking out in the ocean admiring all the colors. If there’s one thing I learned by staring out into the ocean, I realized it’s pretty hard to fuck up and IG pic in Hawaii. You just can’t mess that shit up.

So I brought that same attitude back to California. 

Every morning, I go ham. I wake up at 4:30 AM to workout. Then I work on my business, videos, blog, or investing for a few hours until I go to work.

But I do a daily deload. Either I write in my morning pages and meditate in the morning. Every night I just chill and watch YouTube or some sort of comedy thing. It gives me something to look forward to. Maybe do some yoga.

And no lie. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with shit.

But it doesn’t have to be complicated. It could be as simple as going to a bookstore to making a bomb ass meal for yourself.

Then once a week I do a “deload” day.

For y’all that do powerlifting this is when we take periods off or lighten the workload. Why?

The purpose of this unloading week is to prepare the body for the increased demand of the next phase or period. – Essentials of Strength Training and Conditioning

For anyone that’s lifted for awhile without a deload, you actually get weaker and it gets harder to recover. It happened to me.

And it’s hard. Part of me wants to be like… I have to do something productive. But I think that’s where we fuck things up. We can’t Chinese sweatshop anything in life.

There is a push and pull or yin and yang to productivity.

So how to I celebrate?

Polish off 2 Costco organic pizzas and watch Stranger Things…. all two seasons LOL. And it felt fucking good.

Like seriously. When was the last time I just indulged in a good story, my inner nerd, and 80s nostalgia (even though I was born in 88)?

For the last year, everyone has been asking me to watch Stranger Things… and I finally did it.

In order to give to others, you need to take care of yourself and others. There’s no better feeling like giving to myself.

I do it every morning. When I write in my journal, workout, and drink my morning coffee/golden milk. It’s a sign of respect.

And I notice it even at the pharmacy. I don’t let people talk down to me. I voice my opinion. I feel more fucking confident and don’t feel the strong urge to people please anymore. Why?

Because I don’t need to seek acceptance from people. Fuck that shit man. Of course sometimes I fall back into old habits. Why? It’s focus.

But just like any good habits with reps the good habits get stronger and the bad ones seem to start fading away.

Anyways cheers to respecting myself and my needs. Maybe that’s why I cried in the shower. I hold my promise close to my heart. I am loved. Because I’m finally home.

Kevin Yee





Embrace your fucked up ness

No lie.

I’m pretty stumped about what to write about today for Refugee Hustle.

Apart of me wants to write about all the cool stuff I learned from the weekend. Another part of me wants to write about that breakdown moment I had in the shower when I kept closing my eyes and thinking “Welcome home. You are loved”. And the another part just wants to write about you are loved.

So this weekend all I really did was watch Stranger Things 2. During the signs of disbelieve and all that I realized that it’s so rare to find people that really care about you.

For so long, I’ve lied to myself just trying to fit in.

See I was never really cool growing up. Maybe because I was the only Asian in the classroom. Or maybe it was because I was into Warcraft III and CS. Or maybe it was because I just never felt good enough for other people.

Even as I got older, I just wanted more friends so I wouldn’t feel so damn lonely.

It’s a really depressing state to feel like your alone. You have no one to turn towards for help. You feel the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It’s immense pressure.

I felt it. Shit. I still feel it.

As I get older and go on my own path. What I realize about it is that I am different and not “normal”. I have my own fucked up tendencies.

Recently I was watching Kong from Simple Pickup talking about his experience on LSD and the realization he had from it.

Everyone is fucked up. It’s just about finding the people accepting your “fucked up” ness.

And I’m learning to embrace it. Maybe I was created different for a reason.

Just like how Will’s brother in Stranger Things says “I’d rather be friends with the zombie kid rather than a boring mother fucker”, my weirdness is probably appreciated elsewhere.

I think that’s also one of the difficult things about being an “entrepreneur”. Because you’re going to go against what most of the population believes in. And most of the time it feels like you have to do it alone.

I can’t imagine how entrepreneurs used to function back in the day. We didn’t even have internet to connect us.

And it sometimes is a very lonely path doing stuff by yourself. I deal with it a lot. But I think another part of it taking the responsibility so that you don’t feel alone as well. No one is going to baby sit you. You need to take care of your own needs.

So I have. Instead of waiting for burnout, I take moments like Sunday to just sit back and relax to eat pizza and watch Stranger Things. I respect my body by waking up in the morning to workout. I respect my aspirations by writing my goals and aspirations in my planner. I respect myself by trying to understand why I didn’t finish things rather than beat myself up for it.

It’s weird. Everything feels like it’s in place and I feel like I’m just starting to respect myself and show actual love to myself.

What does self love mean?

  • Understanding your mistakes rather than beating yourself up
  • Respecting your needs by prioritizing them rather than martyring yourself
  • Communicating your needs to others unconditionally

Probably more stuff, but that’s what’s on my mind.

And I think about the people who love me. Truly love me. And I keep on thinking how blessed I am and how I created those relationships.

And I think that’s why I kept crying in the shower. Thoughts like… “Welcome home. Hold this close to your heart. You are loved” made me just feel accepted. And honestly I don’t know where that came from, but it just did.

It’s been so fucking long since I’ve actually done these things and respected my needs. And I’m so proud of myself for starting the journey to break free from the my old childhood prison.


I’m back

Man. It feels like forever since I’ve done this exercise. And I think I need it.

Ever since stopping doing my morning pages I feel like it takes a little more effort to write and for things to flow naturually.

Anyways no more looking back. Just focusing on moving forward and I’m loving it.

This week I read/heard Tim Ferriss Podcast about Jocko… the crazy Navy SEAL. Love his shit man.

One of the things I took out this week was the ability to wake up and just get shit done really really early no matter what. For example, I’ve been getting up 4:30 5/7 days of the week and working out and just getting everything done.

Item after item. Bam. Done. Killing it son. There’s no better feeling than this sense of accomplishment and knowing that you’re up every morning.

And that’s the psychological advantange that Jocko talks about. I see why he does it.

Some other things that have been happening in my life is actually with cryptocurrency. I jumped into it. I’m a proud owner of ETH and LTC. I also invested more heavily into stocks.

The thing that I learned about this today was the fact that I need to have more fun and excitement in my life. See I don’t know how crypto is going to go. All I know is that it’s exciting to have something to look forward to everyday. And it’s just fucking fun.

Speaking about fun, I’m having fun inviting people on to my YouTube channel again. What I’m planning to do is to take long podcast episodes and break the shit down into smaller chunks for people via editing. That way it satisfies the long form and the short form people.

For some reason I’ve been feeling this constant uneasiness from YouTube. Like apart of me doesn’t want to edit anymore. And maybe I just have to accept that I don’t want to edit and that all I want to do is just turn on the camera and talk. After all YouTube isn’t giving much money to begin with.

Another thing I’m grateful for today is waking up early to check out Malan D’s IG Live Stream. Because no one else is up it gave me the chance to talk to him one on one.

And he really gave me a reality check. I was struggling because I was ripping on a page from Adplexity. And got stuck because the javascript kept redirecting my page. When things didn’t go right that’s when I gave up… and that’s where a lot of people fail.

Instead I need to take responsibility of my learning and not shy away from asking help from my resources. It’s something time and time again where I just want to just lurk and figure things out on my own.

Part of it might be ego. The other part might be that I feel like I’m wasting people’s time. Both are probably true.

But either Malan helped remind me that I need to prioritize learning over flipping money. Something that’s kinda hard to deal with my mindset.

As for other things in my life, I’m actually really proud that I reached out to 10+ people to be featured on my YouTube channel. It should be fun to have guests and just have people pop through my place or Skype and just chat.

It gives me the mudda bonding time between people again and just feels good.

I think that’s one thing that I’ve been neglecting and it’s my connection for people and real interaction again. It feels good to be accomplished. But it feels better to be able to share that experience with the people around me.

Part of it is because I’m scared to just get rejected by people. But even if I do get rejected it’s not the end of the world. It’s okay. It’s not personal.

As for things that make me nervous right now a huge one is a relationships class I’m taking in two weeks. I don’t know why it makes me nervous. It just does. Probably because I’m really scared to face some of these inner demons inside my head.

But I ask myself what stories I tell myself and how I portray that to the outside world. And I’m not that push over who let’s people bully him. I am attractive. It’s not only the physical but it’s my drive, hustle, and compassion for people.

So yeah. We’ll see what happens in two weeks. Worst case scenario I can always walk away and live the life I’m currently living.


I’m actually happy again

Recently I just quit Affiliate Marketing. I returned all my paid tools. I also decided to push and hold off on Life Coaching for now.

There’s just so many factors in my life.

One of the things that I’m really proud of is that I said no to these things so I could say yes to other things.

And another thing I’m proud of?

Learning about cryptocurrency and jumping into it. I even bought a course on it. I think investing into things like these is fun. I really enjoy value investing. And it really brings friends like Steven and Joe together and gives us something to talk about.

But even more than just “jumping” into what’s “hot”, this feels fun again. It’s really fun just jumping into a crazy opportunity. Honestly I don’t know how this is going to go down, but at least I can enjoy the journey.

Another thing that I’m proud of is the fact that I signed up for Accelerator and jumped on my first call to see how it worked. It’s come a long way since before and I love how I’m finally accounting for my needs as an obliger.

Another thing that I said no to recently was my coach. I just wasn’t using him enough. As an obliger, there just isn’t enough outward accountability for me. Maybe it’s considered babysitting, but I need more than that.

One thing I want to work on coming back to work is actually not stressing so much. I want to make pharmacy just fun again. If that means sales taking a dip that’s fine. At the end of the day the company doesn’t care about me. At the end of the day I’m losing my hair trying to overachieve.

Why not build my own assets and overachieve in my life instead of burning out? I am paid to do certain things. I will try my best, but I will not put my health in front of work anymore. Fuck that.

Another thing that I will do is promise to surround myself around really intelligent and smart people. This is one of my needs. I realized this at Forefront when I realized… Maybe I’m not the smartest person in the room.

And that was actually an amazing feeling. Why?

I got to learn from so many people and it feels good learning.

Another thing I am proud of myself for doing is participating in the Mental Mastry program and commenting on other people’s comments.

Even though I’m up insanely early ~2-3 AM… fuck you early morning insomnia! I’m still here. I’m still here ready to play the game. Maybe I don’t win all the time, but at least I’m making reps and taking swings.

What does that say? Constantly pushing myself is important.

But honestly as well, I’ve been resting up and putting my needs first at times. Especially sleep. If I don’t optimize this, then I will end up inevitably fucking myself over.

Sleep is essential for my mood, diet, energy, and productivity. It’s the one thing I constantly neglect and I need to focus on it again. Even as I’m typing thing out right now, I realize I’m neglecting sleep.

I need outward accountability for it. Maybe I should ask Kyessa or Sandy to help me with this and just ask me a few questions on my google documents or drive.

As far as how I’m feeling, I’m actually pretty happy these days. I realize that I need more fun in my life and things don’t have to be so serious. I realize more about myself and my tendencies.

But even more I’m relearning how to love myself and give myself space. I need to give to myself before giving to others… especially after that whole influenza thing.

That influenza stage really sucked the energy and killed me man. But it also made me extremely grateful for my own health.

Apart of me doesn’t want to go back to work. Apart of me realizes that I’m a failed entrepreneur. But one thing I also realize is that I am man that keeps trying to no matter what. Who will do anything and try anything to rewrite his story.

I think the huge financial decisions I’ve made will pay off. It’s okay to be wrong. And honestly I’m working with what I know best and what I think is the best decision at this moment.

This constant forgiveness for myself is what matters. I love myself. PALABRA.