Today will be the best day ever.
Man. It feels so good to back here and just typing my thoughts again. After not doing morning pages for ages, I can already feel the creativity flowing out of me.
So much has happened this week. And I finally can say I finally for once appreciate and love myself. “Love” is kinda hippie word. What does it really mean?
For me it means to learn how to be a man again. It was crazy the other day, I was working out at Barbell Brigade and I want to do 3 thing in life.
Protect. Connect. Rewrite people’s stories.
And that’s what it comes down to.
When I protect I want to protect feminitity and give people a safe space to be themselves. Especially for those people that can’t protect themselves. It’s about standing up for what is right.
And it’s that intrinsic feeling you get. I keep on remembering my journey trying to find my purpose and all the women greeting me at the door. It was the most empowering… most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. I felt appreciated and like a man. We need to have purpose in life.
Second thing is connect. So I want to connect heart to heart with people. I’ve always had a special gift of connection. When I connect, I feel fulfilled and they feel like people actually care. Love and connection can do amazing things and can heal a lot of pain. No one wants to feel alone in the world. And truly no one is. But I have to help out reach and care about people.
Third. Rewriting stories. This goes with personal development and “bettering” yourself everyday. This goes with my own stories and other people’s as well. Sometimes it might be aquiring more knowledge. Other times it might be breaking through a childhood fear or belief that has always held us back.
This weekend I broke though that. When I was at the club, I was in my essence. I had connection with my group. I turned fear into fun. I rewrote my story that I’m not “attractive”. But clearly I am. Especially when women approach me. It’s amazing thing. And I found purpose too. It wasn’t to hookup. It was to help my brothers and sisters rewrite that stories.
I think about the most rewarding parts of my experience this weekend and in life. I fill myself up with YouTube and it hits all those things. Refugee Hustle does it too. Going to the gym helps it as well.
And maybe that’s why I feel so unfulfilled at my pharmacy. It doesn’t fill my needs. My need to protect, connect, and rewrite stories.
My personal life is so rewarding to be honest. Extremely rewarding. This weekend I’m going to be spending time with Crystal. Someone who is deeply hurt.
And I love this girl. Yes she’s attractive and I would love to smash LOL. But love goes so much deeper than just wanting to fuck. I just love her personality. She’s sweet and reminds me of myself a lot of the time.
Oh and my dating life. When Nelyn was asking what are we, I’m proud that I made a decision. There’s a piece of me that doesn’t want to lose her. But another side that is scared that the old snapchat pregnancy girl might come out again.
There’s no guarantees in life. She’s always there and supportive. And unconditional love is so rare. So why am I running away from it?
I’m glad that I was a strong “no” if I had to make a decision right there. But I’m also glad I said “yes” to exploration. In the past, I would have told myself “I’m so indecisive”. But I need boundaries in my life. What am I saying yes or no to?
Finally today will be amazing for me.
Because I am not going to be searching what my purpose is anymore. I can finally have intent with what I do. I control what goes on in my life. No one else does.
Today I will grow my business. My YouTube. Refugee Hustle. I will not focus on making a quick buck. I want to do things right and focus on mastery. No.
I am focused on mastery. I protect, connect, and rewrite stories. I am a powerful, compassionate, authentic leader.
There is no more of this… I’ll try, I hope, I will language. This is bullshit. I am all these things.